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lets catch up i ended in Arkansa for week high and off my rocker. Cut myself up pretty bad and then after coming down went to Virginia Beach where i went into hospital for a week for manic episode. i stopped talking to Justin for over month although i am still in love with him and i am severely depressed and wish i was dead. i am not i am still here and alone. i been staying on my medication for sometime now and i have to say i rather flush them down the toilet. i am still getting high on meth so that does not help but meth is a hard drug to kick. i finally broke down and called justin tonight only because i needed to someone who understands to talk to. surprisingly he listen and we had good conversation not sure if i will ever get back with him but i know for now i cant be with anyone. i hate feeling alone and scared it makes me feel like a child when i am grown. i plan on going to savannah in few weeks maybe stay there for a while who knows not really making any plans but i need to get away and try and make it on my own. if i cant i will surely end up in a long facility put there by my family who cant deal with me. something has to give and either i am gonna die by killing myself or i am gonna figure this crap out and have some life or happiness in my life. where i am going i dont know but somewhere has to be better than here.

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