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Monthly Archives: June 2012

so i did 10 days inpatients for my meth use, cutting , and suicide thoughts. i got out yesterday afternoon and during my time inpatient if any of yall have been to a place like this you already know what goes on. we have group therapy sessions all day they put on meds if u got off or atleast regulate. me i had been off my meds and not taking them properly but i got all kinds of good stuff now. they put me on lexapro,abilify,clonazepam, prazosin,and trazodone; most of these you already know what they are fro depression anxiety and nightmare with trouble sleeping. while i was in i had to go to AA and NA for my addiction problems. as many of yall know boderline personality disorder one of  the syptoms is addictivesness and implusivness and with the excessive need to do it alot. this journey has lead me from trying to find a way to continue to be close to my sister and find her in way that i could know why and who she became when she died to me finding more about myself and what i need to do to get better and have a better life. my sisters death consumed me and i lost myself along the way but going inpatient i focused on myself and realized i was dying and killing myself slowly. with all that being said i have decieded to spend two weeks with soon to be ex husband to clear and finalize everything so i can move on from that and to find another inpatient place that specializes in BPD and do so intense therepy some may not agree but i have to do this and i want too. i am ready for a change those goods days i lived for i want them back and i want to be able to be there for my family. i will fill yall in the next two weeks on everything and when i go back to inpatient i will let yall know this past time was a short notice and emergancy but this next one is my choice and is planned i cant say i will ever be 100% better but anything is better than where i am now. i feel good and for the first time in a long time i have hope and its good.