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i’ve been up for two days now unable to sleep well to afriad to sleep. it seems like everytime i close my eyes i can see my sister’s face and it seems like i keep having the same dream. i dont know why and i cant seem to figure it out. when i get like this the days are blur and nothing seems real. i have this hole in me when she left and since then i’ve been almost obessed with finding whatever i can about her. its like i felt so close to her but i didnt really know her: maybe i did but its doesnt feel like that now. she helped me through so much and she understood. i feel lost and i know that finding whatever i can will help me feel closer to her and maybe find the path again. i know she holds the answers and she put them somewhere i just gotta find it. as for me when i start looking i cant stop until i find it even if that means no sleep. the day is coming to an end i am tired two days is about my max before my body crashes into sleep mode. although i am feeling that will wait until the early am before that happens. the night the dark scares me more each day and even sleeping with the lights on doesnt help anymore. i know its all in my head and it has to do with my sister i just hope it doesnt take forever before i can sleep trough the night again. if not i am afriad that my reality will become a dream and my dream a reality and i will be forever lost and confused.

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